Kissing and various types of kissers

There are many types of kissing and kissers. In terms of kissing types, here they are:
1-Ass-kissing
2-butterfly kissing
3-kissing on the cheek
4-French kissing which is like.. mouth to mouth but like with active tongues.
5-kissing something goodbye
6-pecks (like a little short-lived muah on the mouth)
7-air kisses
8-air kisses having been relayed by the hand and not just the air. Meaning you kiss your hand and wave the kiss out to the person.
9-blowing kisses, which is like making sure your air kiss (with the hand) involves some direction so that it arrives at its desired location or the vicinity.

I like to kiss my friends hello when I see them. But sometimes some people have funky smells I don't like. Also, some people are uncomfortable kissing others so they get all crazy and mistake the sides and end up in your face, almost giving you a peck!

I also like to kiss dudes. I'm a female and straight so it comes naturally. Sometimes though I get weird kissers. The kisser types are below:

1-The camel: they think they are chewing or trying to make food break down with their tongue. If they had sound accompanying their action, it would sound like this: mlaaaaaa, mlaaaaaa, mlaaaaaaaa. I'm not a fan of this type.

2-The Pucker face. They pucker the fuck up when they want to kiss someone, even when they know it will be an open-garage type kiss. Those are the types that don't think ahead. I mean c'mon! you know what you're about to do.. why the face?

3-The Nervous Apocalypto. The dude that thinks the world is ending as he approaches your face. It makes me, in turn, think that the world is ending and I want him to go the fuck home. Or anywhere but here...

4-The Awesome Kiss-anova. The dude who is sooo good, you wonder how many chics he's laid and how he got that way. Scary. Herpes!!

5-The Lizard. Insert tongue. Keep it still. Take it out. Re-insert. Do this very very quickly.

6-The Gergory. Thats the dude that likes the peckity peck. No disrespect to Gregory Peck (he was amazing... probably a great kisser too, but not the alarming kind). But the Gregory likes to just keep it short and sweet and it's just like.. after a few you're like... so when are you going to kiss me for real?

7-The Linger-berry. This dude hovers around your face for like 20 minutes. Then you finally kiss him. And then he says "Wow! You KISSED ME!" I'm like no shit. I didn't know what else to do!

8-The Spitter: saliva central. You would think you just tapped into a well. It's gross and you imagine the bubbles forming and it makes for a not so nice image and you start to snarl and then your own kissing style gets all messed up and starts to resemble the Pucker Face!

Alright I'll think of 2 more at the gym and get back to you.